Eulogy of The Green Van

At 312,869 miles, I wouldn’t exactly call it a premature death, but we weren’t quite done with it yet.  It served us well to places in North and South Dakota, Kansas, Missouri, Wisconsin, Iowa, Illinois, Michigan, Indiana, Tennessee, Mississippi, Ohio, Massachusetts, New York, Pennsylvania, Virginia.  Probably more, and most likely more than one time each place.  Not to mention the drive to church each week, at least once.  All 11 of us for many years, plus cargo.  More recently we’ve dwindled to 8 or 9.  Sometimes visitors.  It’s been a faithful van with few repairs required in its over 16 years.  But now the steering hath broken and you can’t weld it for repair to a frame that is too rusted out to be safe.

Van – we loved your green, your steady ride, your cushioned seats and your spaciousness.  But mostly we have loved the togetherness we have all felt when travelling.  This last item, we may yet regain with another such vehicle.  Time to move on.  We’re glad you aren’t human because otherwise we’d feel a bit of a twinge about having the scrap metal guy come tow you away.

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Local News…

(news that may or may not be true slightly irreverent)

 The chapter of Elderly And Resolute (EAR) ladies have met for the first time last week.  It was decided to send aid (in the form of chocolate covered espresso beans and socks) to those suffering from Deep Frost Syndrome in Wisconsin.  The vote was quick and unanimous since there remains only one member.  There is still a motion on the table on whether to go help widen the country driveways but it was decided to forestall the final vote until spring since shovels have become harder to find.  On another note, there *is* finally, music chosen for the theme song for meetings.  There are 4 parts but the EAR ladies are content to drag it out for 4 meetings until the parts are all sung.  Next meeting will open with the Soprano part.  Coffee provided.

In a true spirit of Ecumenicalism, the Lutherans have begun to pronounce the full-stop, in St.Ann’s, the name of the Catholic church.  “Since we are all carbon based life-forms (the requirement for our memberships) we really should find ways to build each other up”, said the new Pastor in town.  They had to delay the combined Polka Mass until it is warm enough to open the church doors to be able to cool off.   The large Charismatic church in the next town over, whose name keeps changing as this article goes to “print”, is planning a large shindig for Pentecost Sunday.  “All are invited, but this is mainly for those who prefer to worship in mind, will and emotions, rather than in spirit and in truth” reads their ad.

The College Sorority “Sigma Omega Sigma (the sorority who tends to need the most academic help), is at it again.  They doubled donations at their semiannual car wash event.  Once they washed the cars, they charged another $5.00 to unfreeze the locks on the doors.  After a weekend worth of complaints, they thought perhaps they should change the event to a yearly one, in the summer.

Mrs. Johnson (one of the 10,000 Johnson) is finally getting her plants under control after they actually did begin a quiet insurrection of listing toward the windows.  She has since resumed her habit of bi-weekly turning but one instigator had to be sent to the Northern MN border.  “First it would be the plants, then the children” she was heard commenting.  “It’s a lot of hard work, but one must keep each their little corner free from rebellion”.

That’s the news.  One way of looking at it anyway.  Until next time.